In a Sentimental Mood

Good evening all (or morning - for those who consider 0130 to be a morning hour),

I simply, simply must say that I have not been this supremely happy in an excessively long time! I've also not been quite this close to crying for happiness in - about - well, over a year. If you remember that bit that I wrote about Ali earlier this week, well - she got back to me!! I have her number and we're going to try to get together soon. But, not only was she like "Ya, it'd be sweet to get together" or something short and concise, but rather she wrote this awesome paragraph about it, and at the end she said the nicest thing. Something that only my mother, and Mr. Waters had ever said to me before - and it only means so much when your mom says it!

I just about started crying. I don't know. I have a real soft spot for people telling me that I'm worth something to the world, and that I need not be afraid of judgement, and all that stuff. But, I won't go into too much detail, because it's sort of personal. 

But, I've got her number!! I've never been able to say that before! And, she's got mine too. I'm probably going to call / text her at some point, and see when she's free. Jeeeze - I feel like a little kid again!

It's like watching my uncle - he just left his wife (my aunt, oddly enough) of like - 30 years - for her sister. And I know that that sounds horrible, and everything, but I sort of see the other side of it. I've never seen my uncle so happy, and so free, and so childish, but in a good way! I don't know, but I feel that meeting new people is the absolute best thing that I can do for myself at the moment. Not that I don't like my friends, or whatever, but I think that a breath of fresh air would be SO awesome.

Boy, I was just flicking through some of the blog entries that I wrote when I first started this - MAN - I was such a looser. I was so upset and angry at everything. I guess you don't notice shifts like that when they are so gradual, and happening to yourself. Like - it's easy for me to say "Boy, so and so has really grown up these last few months", but I would never notice something like that in myself. It was kind of neat to go back and look at it.... I forgot how much I got sick back then!! I have been in perfect health since the middle of summer! Ya, I was a bit worn down on christmas eve, but that doesn't count. I think that there is an absolute connection between my health now and my current methods of thinking, versus my health back, even a year ago, when I was so angry and unstable!! I like my new life. 

In other news, I think that I'm going to stay at home for a while. Until June probably at least. I've pretty much decided that if I get a series, I am going to move out, get a place, and all that (like - actually buy a place, and start paying off a mortgage). I've decided to go to school in Maine for a few weeks in June. I think that it will be hugely valuable. I've dropped SAIT because the classes were simply useless. I was really gaining nothing out of them, and the one teacher just drove me absolutely NUTS!! 

This school in Maine has a SUPER good reputation. I'm going to take their camera assistant course, and their camera operator course. I've also heard that almost every proffesional steady-cam operator took the steady-cam class there. Perhaps one day, if I can make it in camera, I will take that class as well. I think that it will be really fun to get away from the world there that I know a bit too well. I think that it will be nice to travel, and to meet some new people. And, it's only three weeks, so I'll be back before I know it!

Well, I do need to go to bed. While to only start tomorrow at noon, I do need to go pick up an external drive for this computer so that I can start editing my movie!!!!

I must say though. She rocks!

And to all a good night.

John

A Sideward Glance

Good evening,

Today, I write to cyberspace on my 19th birthday. It is no longer technically my 19th, but in my head it is. I suppose I have many reasons for writing here tonight, however I'm fairly tired, and I need to get to bed soon, so perhaps I shall only write about a few of them. 

Well, to start off, I have Final Cut which rocks. There are so many things I can do!!!!!!! It's so mind blowing, but I think that I'll figure it out sooner or later. Essentially, this will allow me to do amazing things with "Behind the Heart". Tomorrow, when I am done working, I am going to go to London Drugs and get an external hard-drive, and then hopefully, I can start cutting it this week! I really think that it's going to be a really decent film all things considered. I also hope that we'll be able to shoot the intro sequence soon too. We'll see though - it pretty much all boils down to actor availability. What will be will be. 

In other news, there is a girl in my life. Well, she's not technically in my life, but we've been talking for a while now (like, 2 months). This whole time I've had no idea what she looks like, and I've had no idea what to expect, but recently, she added me on facebook, and boy - she's pretty! Sort of shortish hair, blonde (again with the falling for blondes - que c'est ça??), nice eyes, all that stuff... Not that I've been spending any time on her page or anything. I asked her if she wanted to get together, and I hope to hear back from her soon. But, she wished me happy birthday on facebook, which was very nice of her. Her name is Ali.

Also, I have just finished up 26 days as a boom op / mixer on an indie feature called Rogers Pass. It was an absolute blast. I have seen some of the most beautiful scenery / places in the world. I got to shoot inside an abandoned hospital, in the back of an ambulance, I got to chase an ambulance, shoot a curling bonshpiel (sp), several bars, a geodesic dome cabin, a real hospital, the UofC, on the middle of a lake during the sunrise, and many, many others. It was a lot of fun, and I got to meet so many awesome people while doing it. It is an experience that I will truly never forget. It was fun too, because a lot of the process is seeing how much you can push your own boundaries - there were times that I thought I was going to get blown across the lake when the wind really picked up. There were times I though I'd fall asleep on the way to work because we'd had four hours of turnaround. But, to a great extent, that's why I'm doing it. I love that sort of stuff. But, as I was saying to my mom, I have come to the realization that I don't know if sound is the right place for me. 

The movie industry is truly something. The world on set is one that totally differs from the real world we live in on a day to day basis. Sound is such an omni-directional medium, that no matter what you do, something will be standing in the way of perfection, and that gets to me. With a camera, you point it at what you're going to shoot. You make that frame perfect, and aside from changing natural light, you have very little that can wreck your shot. In sound though, anything. The creak coming from the script supervisor as they shift in their chair, the car door slamming across the street, the bed springs squeaking 3 blocks away *cough*, the gaffer whispering to the director *cough cough cough*... it's all there. And then you've got your name attached to that product. It can be frustrating. As much as I wish it were otherwise sometimes, I am an artistic person, and I like my work to be really truly appreciated. The last thing that I want to find out is that they are going to go in after the fact, and erase all the work I've just spent hundreds of hours doing, and redo it all. Ahh, ADR. I watched some Heartland re-runs today (jesus - Amber - boy oh boy) and the ADR is SSSSSSOOOOOO bad in some spots, it makes me want to vomit. Like - it really shocks me sometimes - you spend 1.8 million / block or something like that, and you can't take a few moments to match the audio perspective? I dunno - I've never actually watched an ADR session, so I don't know the exact process, so - perhaps it would be best if I just kept my mouth shut. 

But anyways, the point of that paragraph is all to say that I'm going to start experimenting in other areas of film. I really am feeling a good vibe coming from camera right now, and anybody who knows me knows about my Steady-cam obsession... sorta weird, but whatever - to each their own. I think that I'm going to try to get some work as a camera trainee. I'm going to do some reading too, to really try to grab some of the concepts. We'll see where she all goes. 

Well, I need to get to bed - quite badly. I work at the fish store at 9.

To all he and shes' out there who buy fish at 9am - SHAME!!!!!

Haha!

And to all a good night

John