Inspectors and Sextroverts
A short dissertation on the living of Introversion.
Good evening all,
Tonight I write to you with a sense of relief in my heart. A feeling of dread and fear seems to have been lifted off my chest, and I almost feel like a normal human being. After how many years of this too.
I've never liked parties. In fact, I usually avoid them at all cost. I loath large groups of people, and usually avoid them as well. Fear of judgement? Yup. Hours and hours in the car alone in total silence? Yup. Express my feelings better here on my blog then in face-to-face interaction? Haha yup.
For years I have been convinced that I was mentally handicapped. This is not something I have ever shared with anyone, but it's always been there in the back of my head. Why is Ryley always so awkward at parties? Why am I so terrified (and I mean that in the full, gut wrenching sense of the word) of any social interaction that extends beyond my little circle of close friends? Why am I a TERRIBLE conversationalist (anybody who knows me at all is probably laughing at this point... mostly to hide the pain of the truth). I kept asking myself these questions. Day in day out, always assuming I was suffering a (very) mild case of autism. I'm not even kidding.
That was the most logical solution.
Enter a little gray book called "Quiet".
So the word introvert has always been in my life. But it has always had a sort of reverence, or complimentary definition in my mind. I don't know why, but I've always seen it as this deeper state of being that everybody is trying to achieve. So when my parents would always refer to me as introverted, I never really understood what they meant. Now as I plunge head first into the first book I've read in probably 10 years (that's a lie, but I'll say it for effect) I'm starting to discover a new definition for the word.
What is it to be introverted? Is it normal? What are the long term consequences of this "condition". Little did I know that introversion was actually labeled a mental disease in the 60s' and 70s'. The world began living what is still to this day known as the "extrovert ideal". Introverts were sort of shunned out of business - out of society. It's no fault of anybodies - it just happened.
All of that aside, it's actually kind of liberating to know that I am after all, normal. In fact it is estimated that some 40-50% of the human population is introverted.
But despite this heart warming mug of hot chocolate, what is the advantage... I still struggle to see it. Knowing this doesn't change the fact that I'm socially awkward. That I would rather sit at a table of laughing, joking friends, and not say a word. That I would rather sit in silence with someone, then share meaningless conversation with them for hours on end. Besides that - what is conversation? The smashing of air molecules into one-another, which bounce off our ear drums. Our brain tells us what we want us to hear.
I can say now proudly that I am normal, but that doesn't change the fact that science has proven that we are generally less successful in business, in romance *cough*, in social settings. Extroverts can perform most day-to-day tasks faster, and with more efficiency. They can pool their resources more readily, and score higher on most tests. They are offered jobs more readily, and often become strong leaders.
So if you follow Ryleys (very possibly) messed up idea of wrong and right which suggests that all humans are born equally intelligent, where do the introverts shine? But now I'm getting into the idea of the thoughts' of others I suppose. Ultimately it boils down to what you perceive others think about you. I wonder if extroverts don't care as much? Do they care more? From my understanding, extroverts can shine in the eyes of an introvert, but can an introvert shine in the eyes of an extrovert? No... I think they are too blind. But that's awfully close-minded of me.
Anyways, I've got a tonne to think about.
I met a reeeeeeeeeeealllly cute ice climber the other day. Super adorable.
Ciao
-Zigs
"You Are Loved. All Is Well"
Good evening all,
Tonight I write to you with a sense of relief in my heart. A feeling of dread and fear seems to have been lifted off my chest, and I almost feel like a normal human being. After how many years of this too.
I've never liked parties. In fact, I usually avoid them at all cost. I loath large groups of people, and usually avoid them as well. Fear of judgement? Yup. Hours and hours in the car alone in total silence? Yup. Express my feelings better here on my blog then in face-to-face interaction? Haha yup.
For years I have been convinced that I was mentally handicapped. This is not something I have ever shared with anyone, but it's always been there in the back of my head. Why is Ryley always so awkward at parties? Why am I so terrified (and I mean that in the full, gut wrenching sense of the word) of any social interaction that extends beyond my little circle of close friends? Why am I a TERRIBLE conversationalist (anybody who knows me at all is probably laughing at this point... mostly to hide the pain of the truth). I kept asking myself these questions. Day in day out, always assuming I was suffering a (very) mild case of autism. I'm not even kidding.
That was the most logical solution.
Enter a little gray book called "Quiet".
So the word introvert has always been in my life. But it has always had a sort of reverence, or complimentary definition in my mind. I don't know why, but I've always seen it as this deeper state of being that everybody is trying to achieve. So when my parents would always refer to me as introverted, I never really understood what they meant. Now as I plunge head first into the first book I've read in probably 10 years (that's a lie, but I'll say it for effect) I'm starting to discover a new definition for the word.
What is it to be introverted? Is it normal? What are the long term consequences of this "condition". Little did I know that introversion was actually labeled a mental disease in the 60s' and 70s'. The world began living what is still to this day known as the "extrovert ideal". Introverts were sort of shunned out of business - out of society. It's no fault of anybodies - it just happened.
All of that aside, it's actually kind of liberating to know that I am after all, normal. In fact it is estimated that some 40-50% of the human population is introverted.
But despite this heart warming mug of hot chocolate, what is the advantage... I still struggle to see it. Knowing this doesn't change the fact that I'm socially awkward. That I would rather sit at a table of laughing, joking friends, and not say a word. That I would rather sit in silence with someone, then share meaningless conversation with them for hours on end. Besides that - what is conversation? The smashing of air molecules into one-another, which bounce off our ear drums. Our brain tells us what we want us to hear.
I can say now proudly that I am normal, but that doesn't change the fact that science has proven that we are generally less successful in business, in romance *cough*, in social settings. Extroverts can perform most day-to-day tasks faster, and with more efficiency. They can pool their resources more readily, and score higher on most tests. They are offered jobs more readily, and often become strong leaders.
So if you follow Ryleys (very possibly) messed up idea of wrong and right which suggests that all humans are born equally intelligent, where do the introverts shine? But now I'm getting into the idea of the thoughts' of others I suppose. Ultimately it boils down to what you perceive others think about you. I wonder if extroverts don't care as much? Do they care more? From my understanding, extroverts can shine in the eyes of an introvert, but can an introvert shine in the eyes of an extrovert? No... I think they are too blind. But that's awfully close-minded of me.
Anyways, I've got a tonne to think about.
I met a reeeeeeeeeeealllly cute ice climber the other day. Super adorable.
Ciao
-Zigs
"You Are Loved. All Is Well"
posted by John at 11:02 PM
2 comments
